My goal in life is not fame or fortune. It is simply to one day own a library...– eternallinestotime (via eternallinestotime) THIS IS MY LIFE GOAL, GUYS, PERFECTLY EXPRESSED (via hold-a-wolfs-ears)
Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page...
DON'T DRIVE DRUNK.
From 6pm-6am on New Year’s Eve/Day AAA will take your drunk self and your car home for FREE, member or not: 800-222-4357
gay male: i'm gay
straight female: OMG UR GAY LET'S BE BFFS CAN WE GO SHOPPING TOGETHER OMG
gay female: i'm gay
straight female: EW GET AWAY FROM ME U DYKE DONT TOUCH ME GROSS LESBIAN GERMS
And let's not forget -
Gay female: I'm gay
Straight male: OMG SO HOT. DAMN. CAN I FUCK YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHILE SOMEONE FILMS IT. TOUCH HER BOOOBS. BOOOOOOOOBS.
Gay male: I'm gay
Straight male: HOLY SHIT IT'S A HOMO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME FUCKIN HOMO. BACKS AGAINST THE WALL GUYS.
Band member: Hi, nice to meet you!
Me: I can't believe I'm actually talking to you, and breathing the same air! Oh my gosh, I'll never wash these lungs again. sldkjfhglkjdf
Band member: *laughs*
Band member: So do you want me to sign something?
Me: Let's make beautiful babies.
Band member: What?
Me: I asked if you could sign my.... poster.
Band member: I could have sworn you just said -
Band member: But -
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 cent feat. Nickelback
That awkward moment when you fall in love with a...
When you accidentally close the dashboard tab
“ALL THAT SCROLLING! GONE!!”